COOPER:

Remember your first BFF? You may have met her in the playground or in grade school. Your first BFF is like your first true love; it is truly a groundbreaking, eye-opening relationship in a girl’s life. Your first BFF is typically the first person you develop a relationship with outside of your immediate family. It’s a relationship based on innocence and it opens up a world of “firsts” for both people. Your BFF is someone you choose based on shared interests, age and proximity. Therefore, it’s a relationship that is doomed from the beginning.

I remember my first BFF. Her name was Donna and we met in the first grade. She became my best friend because we both liked the OC, IHOP, and pink bows. Oh, and she sat next to me in class so she was, like, the only person I could talk to without getting into trouble. The more we talked, the more I realized that she was just like me, and she understood what I was going through. Our relationship extended from class, to recess, and in no time we were having sleepovers and talking online non-stop. We were a duo, like Beauty & the Beast and Dolce & Gabana. Then as our relationship evolved I began to notice qualities in her that complimented qualities and me, and the intensity and desire to experiment was, like, totally, dizzying.

However, as I matured, our interests began to change; I liked boys, fashion and movies and Donna liked reading, writing and theatre. When we entered into the seventh grade I started to notice distinct groups of girls being formed within the class, and I quickly realized that if I wanted to join one of these groups I had to ditch Donna. She was becoming a detriment. If I wanted to go from lunches at the library to hanging out with the cool kids at the mall, my affiliation with Donna had to be destroyed. It wasn’t personal; it was strictly a social decision.

Shocking! Not the ending you expected, was it? But it had to be done. I’ll give credit where credit is due, Donna and I experienced a lot of “firsts” together, but she opened my eyes to the dichotomy of high school – the cool and the uncool. I wanted to be cool and in order to do so, Donna had to be eliminated.

My elimation was quick and effective. I elminated her within 24 hours. I hit the social networking sites, and started spreading rumors about her. It actually worked quite well; Donna became so obsessed with dispelling the rumors that I started and I was able to gradually phase her out of the picture without directly hurting her. Before Donna knew it I had switched teams and was hanging out with the popular girls.

The moral of this story is that if your BFF becomes a detriment to your popularity, she needs to be eliminated.

Peace,

Cooper

PS- Here’s something totally cool for your BFF. :>)